Sunday, July 5, 2015

Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust


Play the below video while remembering the Good times not the End Times

I didn't think Games Workshop would or could do it but they did. They've killed Warhammer Fantasy. I checked my calendar just to make sure it wasn't April 1st but nope, it was July 4 2015 American Independence day, and the day Warhammer Fantasy was put down........

Warhammer Players try not too cry too much

The Age of Sigmar is upon us which if you've been following the end times fluff means the Warhammer World as you and I knew it has been destroyed and replaced with small civilizations escaping through portals to realms elsewhere blah, blah, blah.....What this really is, is a failed attempt at deus ex machina.



Warhammer Fantasy was only accounting for about 13% of sales and the game which generally only appealed to the older wargamer, this is no longer Games Workshops target demographic, GW's target is more likely the children of Fantasy players. Get them in, sell em a boxset, GTFO, Profit. Not exactly a winning business plan, but fuck it, share holders need their dividends.


Enter Warhammer Age of Sigmar, Fantasies brain damaged cousin, firstly it introduces us to a new race of Space Marines as usual GW's pricing puts it out of range of most first time wargamers ,which it looks to be designed for, at $250NZD you get the below toys and the 30K/40K players are really excited about the new mini's.
Sweet Hellbrute bro...

FOR SIGMa......err SANGUINIUS

Now the rules are soo strange there's no points system I'm not going to go deep into it I'm leaving the analysis for better blogs for folks who passed English in high school and know the right place for an oxford comma. But sufficed to say when I heard that player interaction effected game-play beyond rolling dice I called BS lies silly, silly lies but alas they were all true.


Machete don't dance

I'm not sure what was going through their heads while writing this although I suspect someone had access to some high grade warp dust cos motherfuckers gone bananas!


Options: Now asides from the knee-jerk reactions to drop all your toys on Ebay or burning everything and putting it on Youtube. Crying until the pain goes away is another option but it still doesn't get your fantasy fix. Bullet point time bitches....
  1. Carry on playing 8th edition make sure you've got that FAQ saved also a fine gentleman has purchased the domain  nethammer.org so in the coming months it'll have the resources needed to survive.
  2. Kings of War: One of the fastest growing mass fantasy battle games they've even been kind enough to include the races that are missing from their canon Kings of War . Once described by one of New Zealand's biggest wargaming trolls as "Warhammer with training wheels" oh how times have changed. They release their FREE V2 ruleset on July 10th this year.
  3. Hmmm I ran out of ideas but 3 bullet points makes it look more professional I guess, I dunno.
Anyways as always they're your toys and ultimately you decide what you're going to do with your hobby time and money and since GW just gave you a big ol Fuck You you should probably spend it elsewhere.


Thanks for reading I always appreciate feedback so feel free to comment below...


  


5 comments:

daemion said...

Shit, even Dust battlefield has moar life left in it than WFB.

danb666 said...

Lots of people will forget that they can play whatever version of Warhammer they want. Not just the newest box set. Don't play Warhammer any more myself, Was still playing version 3 just over 5 years ago.
I sort of play KoW. when work,home, Pluto and the wind is blowing in the right direction.


Anyway. Enjoyed your rant.

LarsDabe said...

I think you read wrong the dance stuff, it means the miniature, not the player.

Daniel Linder said...

Nope it's all about player interaction wait til you find the Chaos Champions insult a child card.

web lol said...

kul post !